72. The Games of Death

 

Who needs Game of Thrones when you have this gem ripe for a multi-million squid TV adaptation? Hints of sadomasochism abound while the ‘tiny man shouting at an ork’ could easily be played by a digitally diminished Aaron Rodgers (NFL reference, sorry). Note to producers: you would need to budget for possible litigation from the original heroes of the genre: Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson.

Judging from the reaction to the Game of Thrones finale, it won’t be long before fans of high-stake TV blockbusters are being asked to choose their preferred story endings, if not their own adventures, in audience polls. Wonder if that’s going to make the writing better or worse?

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71. Foolproof anti-algorithm technique disguised as free jazz II – search engine responses

Facial furySelected highlights from my attempts at misinformation mentioned last time.

  • How do you smell my dog’s name in French?
    Dog Names That’ll Make you Say ‘Oui, Oui’
    Name your love pup one of these French dog names, and you’re sure to get even more warm fuzzies for your favorite little fur-ball.
  • Does paper feel regret?
    Psychopaths actually do feel regret, new research finds—they just don’t change. … The paper found that those with signs of psychopathy do, in fact, experience regret over certain decisions. But it seems that they struggle to learn from that regret, and use it to inform future choices.
  • Cabbage camouflage techniques
    By law it is technically illegal to wear camouflage uniforms in public that had been adopted by any military or paramilitary organization. South African companies have produced a large number of varied camouflage patterns from the apartheid period into the present era, in part to provide some legitimate hunting designs for commercial purposes.
  • Renting a toxic waffle maker with a dodgy plug, 1972-76
    We’ve come a long way since the word “waffle” was first introduced to the English language in the 1725 book “Court Cookery” by chef Robert Smith, who swore by the “bake one to try; if they burn, add more butter” method. But as with pancakes, mastering the art of the perfect waffle first time can be tricky. Reject waffles can range from drastically under-cooked in the middle to so burnt that you’ll have to leave the pan soaking in the sink. But it doesn’t have to be that way: these days, fancy waffle makers will do all the hard work for you at the optimum temperature.
  • Can I divorce my guilty feet?
    We built that house, and had kids close together. When they got older, I did start my writing career, but along the way, something happened, and we both agreed the only solution to stay happy was to write a new chapter, which would involve living in separate places — and eventually lead to a divorce.
  • Is disco an Olympic sport?
    When I reflect on the London Games, the moments that resonate with me the most are not the ones where American athletes are standing up on that top pedestal singing “o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.” While seeing that always floods me with such happiness and pride, the memories that have impacted me the most include the ones that demonstrate the pure goodness of humanity. The moments that, no matter what country you’re from, are bound to stick with you because they strike something deep within.
  • Is my face made of wool?
    Earlier this month I flew to London. I prepped for the flight like any good little beauty editor. Face wipes? Check. A nefarious-looking sheet mask? Of course. Rosewater to mist my face? Certainly. And to lock in all of these transatlantic treatments, I turned to Lano Ointment — a thick balm made from the wool of Australian sheep. Baa-humbug. The ointment’s star ingredient is lanolin, a viscous, gummy formula that may ring a few bells if you’re a new mom or a French-beauty-brand aficionado. Commonly found in diaper-rash treatments, nipple creams, and Avibon, the French retinol salve that makes even the most deferential beauty editor’s lips smack in excitement, lanolin is nature’s answer to fussy, dry skin. Skin is why lanolin exists at all, actually, as it’s secreted by sheep to protect their skin and wool from the environment.
  • Best-paid jobs for unemployed millionaires in Rotherham, 1829-2052
    The average Rotherham salary is £28,170. Currently there are 1,506 live job ads in Rotherham, out of 1,055,507 jobs nationally. Most live job ads in Rotherham are for Healthcare & Nursing Jobs and Teaching Jobs. Salaries in Rotherham have gone up 7.2% year-on-year while the national annual change is 1.0%.
  • Best way to feel feelings (without touching them)
    Besides inner feelings such as sensations as others have mentioned and hot or cold, those that cannot hear or see have a more heightened sense of feelings. Vibrations, such as made by music, someone’s step, or the sound of a car engine, even a door closing, wind at different speeds and temperatures. The feeling of movement, falling, forward movement, climbing or spinning, our inner ear reacts to these often causing motion sickness, you feel what you breath, the consistency of the air, when you step, you not only feel the ground beneath your feet through your shoes, but the density beneath it, it may be soft like mud or hard like concrete.
  • Should I buy my hamster a golf course?
    Get ready to play a challenging round of Hamster Mini Golf. Play mini golf with hamsters! Challenge a friend with two-player mode! Choose the course you’d like to play and the hamster you’d like to play with and set off for a fun golfing adventure!

  • How much is £1.56 worth in pounds and pence twenty minutes ago near the big tree in the park?
    Children need to know the value of each coin and note and understand what these values represent. They should understand that money can be represented in different ways but still have the same value. Children will need to be able to add coin values together to find the total amount.
  • Why can’t I change a million-pound note at Aldi, or Lidl?
    Smoothie and porridge toppers chia, sesame, flaxseed, linseed and pumpkin seeds are the most up and coming health foods of the last few years. While the unt-rendiest part about health food has long been the prices, most Aldis have met the trend with competitively priced packs into the bargain. Pet food is notoriously priced, with owners spending around £7 a week on cat food to feed Oscar or Kitty. Aldi’s Vitacat and Earls cat and dog food brands can be an easy way to feed a beloved pet without raising debts, ranging between £1.50 and £2.50 for a pack of 8 pouches.
  • How do I stop the Queen from ringing me at all hours?
    Having plans in place for the death of leading royals is a practice that makes some journalists uncomfortable. For 30 years, BBC news teams were hauled to work on quiet Sunday mornings to perform mock storylines about the Queen Mother choking on a fishbone. There was once a scenario about Princess Diana dying in a car crash on the M4. These well-laid plans have not always helped. In 2002, when the Queen Mother died, the obit lights didn’t come on because someone failed to push the button down properly. On the BBC, Peter Sissons, the veteran anchor, was criticised for wearing a maroon tie. The last words in Sissons’s ear before going on air were: “Don’t go overboard. She’s a very old woman who had to go some time.”
  • Carpet sale dynamic wrist action shag pile conundrum: when, and for how long?
    EXCELLENT GOOD OLD FASHIONED SERVICE. WHEN CUSTOMERS WERE TREATED LIKE THEY WERE VALUED. HE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO US ABOUT WHAT WOULD BE NEEDED FROM THE GLUE FIX – TO THE DOOR BARS ETC AND GAVE US THE SAME SERVICE AS SOMEONE ELSE IN THE STORE THAT WAS LIKELY TO BE SPENDING THOUSAND WHILST WE WERE SPENDING HUNDREDS.
  • How do I get my recycling back?
    Countries such as China are prepared to pay high prices for recyclables such as waste plastic, mainly because they do not have readily available sources of virgin materials (no indigenous forests or oil supplies) and they have a large manufacturing industry that requires these products. Even though exporting our recyclables means a bigger recycling loop because recyclable materials are transported further, it is still a better environmental option than using virgin, raw materials.
  • Baggage allowance for heaven
    Malta Paradise Holidays
    You must be able to fit your bags into the baggage gauge at check in, including handles, pockets and wheels. You must be able to fit any duty-free and airport purchases into this allowance. The maximum weight per bag is up to 23kg/51lb and you must be able to lift it into the overhead locker by yourself. Infants (under age 2) may take 1 additional cabin bag (as above) only for items they may require during the flight.
  • Nothing: pros and cons
    Petrov hesitated. The technology was new, and surely if the Americans had launched a preemptive strike, they would have fired more than five missiles. Still, he couldn’t be certain. So he waited. Against all training and expectation he waited for an agonizing 23 minutes to see if Soviet surface radar would confirm the launch. It did not. And the world survived another day without nuclear war. Unarguably, the most important contribution Stanislav Petrov made during his lifetime was his decision not to take action.

70. Foolproof anti-algorithm technique disguised as free jazz II

STOP CONTROL
Here we go again. Trying to simultaneously engage with the real world and escape from it over the last few months, I’ve doubtless given far too much of myself away online yet again. Time to dangle my word-clogged trombone over the Internet’s spittle bucket and dribble a few more anti-algorithm distractors into the void. Feel free to slop them down the neck of your favoured search engine, or find the time to create your own. It’s strangely relaxing.

  • How do you smell my dog’s name in French?
  • Wanted: travel toothbrush for philanthropic marsupial
  • Does paper feel regret?
  • Cabbage camouflage techniques
  • Pay for extra legroom or build an extra leg room?
  • Renting a toxic waffle maker with a dodgy plug, 1972-76
  • Can I divorce my guilty feet?
  • Is disco an Olympic sport?
  • Can ears smell poisonous gossip underwater?
  • Is my face made of wool?
  • Best-paid jobs for unemployed millionaires in Rotherham, 1829-2052
  • Best way to feel feelings (without touching them)
  • Should I buy my hamster a golf course?
  • How much is £1.56 worth in pounds and pence twenty minutes ago near the big tree in the park?
  • Why can’t I change a million-pound note at Aldi, or Lidl?
  • How do I stop the Queen from ringing me at all hours?
  • Carpet sale dynamic wrist action shag pile conundrum: when, and for how long?
  • How do I get my recycling back?
  • Baggage allowance for heaven
  • Nothing: pros and cons

Word hungry? Etymology #1

Steamin 2Steaming – i.e. extremely drunk (e.g. ‘Shouldn’t have mixed my drinks, I was steamin’ when I got home’) – originates in Scotland, where legislation in the 1850s meant the only way to enjoy a legal drink on a Sunday was as a traveller; hence the speedy formation of steamship operators offering convenient ‘booze cruises’ along the Clyde. Inevitably, some of these bygone travellers returned to port ‘steamin’’ and in need of a wee; hence, the largest urinal in Scotland is at the pier at Rothesay on the Isle of Bute. Yes, drinking was a largely male preserve back then, but I’m told facilities for women haven’t exactly come on in leaps and bounds in the interim.

Source: BBC Timeshift