33. The dips and thongs of spoken word events

5 best things about reading at spoken word events

  1. Captive audience satisfies authorial control fantasy
  2. Audience member accidentally buys your book while trying to order a Penguin Classic the next day
  3. You get to hang out at bars with poptastic ‘80s names like Culture Club
  4. People sometimes buy you drinks (thank you!)
  5. Dutch courage encouraged
Gothic Reading

Reading at the launch of the Hong Kong Writers Circle’s ‘Hong Kong Gothic’, March 2015

5 worst things about reading at spoken word events

  1. Captive audience fails to satisfy authorial control fantasy
  2. Audience member realizes your book is just a mash-up of Penguin Classics
  3. You realize 86% of your literary competitors weren’t even born in the ‘80s
  4. People stop buying you drinks
  5. You end your days raging against the light in a purple hat on a non-stop tour of the deserted bus stations of the mind
Batson and Bateman

And a few years ago in the guise of Batson Bargreaves…

So…looks like a good thing I have someone covering for me this Monday (30th March) when an actor will be performing my monologue ‘Locked in Love’ as part of a Liars’ League event themed Chance & Fate at XXX Gallery, Sai Wan, Hong Kong.

The Liars’ League format (“Writers write. Actors act. Audience listens. Everybody wins.”) has provided raucous entertainment whenever I’ve seen it in action before, capturing the best aspects of spoken word to the delight of the audience (who, let’s face it, are the most important part of the night).

A particularly memorable line-up lit up the Hong Kong International Literary Festival last year when stories by Junot Diaz, Chris Pavone and others were performed at The Fringe Club. There is also an upcoming Liars’ League (London) special on Radio 4 so listen out for that.

‘Locked in Love’ is wedged right in the middle of bill on Monday; perhaps fittingly as it tells the story of an expat stuck in a stinky pub toilet cubicle. After admiring the graffiti and cursing the lack of toilet roll, our hero soon realises he’s in danger of missing his flight home to the UK, and with it a last chance to be reunited with his estranged love…

If you have a monologue you’re dying to let someone else get off your chest you can submit your ideas for future evenings direct to the Liars themselves by heading to their submissions page here. Would I lie to you?

Liars’ League @ XXX Gallery, B/F, 353-363 Des Voeux Road West, Sai Wan (between Whitty St and Hill Rd, eight mins walking west from Sheung Wan)